As someone who usually focuses on building mental resilience in teams and adults, I was struck when I recently came across a warning from the U.S. Surgeon General that hit closer to home. The Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents highlighted an urgent issue that affects millions of families: the overwhelming stress parents face today, which is not only affecting their own mental health but also having a profound impact on their children’s ability to develop resilience.

Over the past decade, more parents than ever have reported experiencing high levels of stress. According to the Surgeon General, 33% of parents said they felt high levels of stress in the past month, compared to just 20% of other adults. And it’s not just about managing a busy schedule—parental stress is compounded by the pressure to ensure children have a smooth, obstacle-free life. While we all want the best for our kids, sometimes our desire to protect them from life’s challenges can do more harm than good.
From Helicopter to Snowplow Parenting: Clearing the Path for Kids?
We’ve heard of helicopter parenting—hovering over children to protect them from harm—but we’ve now entered the era of snowplow parenting. Snowplow parents go beyond supervision, actively removing obstacles and difficulties from their children’s paths to ensure nothing stands in their way. On the surface, this seems like responsible parenting, but the unintended consequence is that kids are missing out on the experiences they need to build the skills and mental resilience to face challenges later in life.
Instead of allowing children to struggle, fail, and learn from those experiences, snowplow parenting clears every hurdle, which may seem like helping, but it’s actually holding them back. The result? Kids who lack grit, independence, and problem-solving skills—traits that are crucial for success in adulthood.
Parental Stress: The Other Side of the Coin
And the stress isn’t just affecting the kids; it’s overwhelming parents as well. A recent study by the American Psychological Association revealed that 48% of parents report feeling completely overwhelmed by stress most days, compared to only 26% of other adults. The effort to create a perfect, challenge-free environment for children takes an enormous toll on the mental health of parents, and when parental stress is severe or prolonged, it affects the entire family dynamic.
This constant pressure is creating a vicious cycle where parents feel they must control every detail of their child’s life, but this very control is leading to burnout. The irony is that the more parents try to prevent stress for their kids, the more stress they create for themselves.
A Shift Toward Free-Range Parenting: Letting Go to Grow
Here’s the reality: life’s challenges—whether it’s losing a game, failing a test, or learning how to resolve conflicts with friends—are essential for growth. Children who face difficulties and experience failure build resilience, confidence, and problem-solving abilities. These are the life skills that will serve them well in the real world, where parents can’t always be there to clear the way.
That’s why more parents are beginning to embrace free-range parenting, which encourages giving children more freedom to navigate the world independently. Instead of eliminating every potential obstacle, free-range parenting allows kids to encounter challenges, make mistakes, and develop the skills they need to overcome them. Not only does this help children grow into capable, resilient adults, but it also reduces the stress parents feel from trying to control every aspect of their child’s life.
Do Your Kids—And Yourself—A Favor
In light of the Surgeon General’s warning and the rising stress levels among parents, maybe it’s time to step back and rethink how we approach parenting. By loosening the reins and letting kids experience challenges, we not only help them grow but also give ourselves a break from the overwhelming pressure of snowplow parenting.
So, do your kids—and yourself—a favor: embrace a more balanced approach. Allow your children the chance to solve problems on their own, learn from failure, and face adversity. They’ll be stronger for it, and you’ll find relief from the constant stress of managing every little detail.
Parenting is hard enough without the added burden of trying to make it perfect. Let’s raise resilient, independent kids—and in the process, give ourselves the mental and emotional space to thrive as parents.
Comments